Civilized hieroglyphics

I eagerly visited the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art last weekend to take a new look at the treasury with hopes that this time it might awaken some new interpretations. I typically find that practical and functional art pieces are my favorites. I didn't make my way all the way through the museum, but I spent a good amount of time in front of the Egyptian hieroglyphics; I determined that the hieroglyphics are more civilized than the written or spoken word. The written or spoken word, no matter how descriptive, has a way of being taken out of context so easily that it is alarming. A phrase, comment or word can be easily slanted to mean something in which it wasn't originally intended. And this is the same with photos and video. Sometimes, despite the truth being directly in your face and in plain English can be misinterpretted based on previous notions that were slanted in the beginning. This is how things can become something out of nothing. Hieroglyphics and other pictures can be interpretted regardless of language and are therefore more universal than mathematics, which in itself is a language to be learned. It has long been my determination that that which seems to be more civilized is in fact less civilized than previous generations before us. With the exception of slavery.

Black and white

Still working on this idea and will provide more information and facts to support my reasoning in the future. Several years ago I was led into a discussion about black and white. My take on it initially was that there are many shades of gray in between the two, meaning that what may be good/right for some may not be good/right for all. One side may be more good/right than the other. This way of thinking assumes that both the black and the white are percentages that add together to create 100% and that most times the majority wins, like in an election. However this way of thinking about black and white creates good/winners and bad/losers rather than acknowledging the fact that it is in human nature for people to act good/right. If both sides (black and white) had all of the correct and untwisted information, they would choose to be good/right in the purest sense of the word.
How can you determine if something is black OR white? Perhaps it is 100% black AND 100% white at the same time with both black and white doing what is good/right, in the purest sense of the word. The only condition is that everyone must be a winner to create harmony.

My childhood dream

I got into an email conversation with a fellow overachiever and good friend whom I've known since middle school. She reminded me of several of our old topics of discussion. For example, when all the teachers and other students would ask us what we wanted to be when we grew up, our normal jovial response was "The coolest people in the WORLD!" I don't remember saying this, but knowing my mentality in middle school, that phrase awfully does sound reminiscent of something I would have proclaimed. But somewhere between my pre-teen years and current life I have lost sight of my childhood dream. What I failed to do is to set some goals to achieving this status. Perhaps it is time to get back on track. I guess I could take the easy route to obtaining coolness and focus my energies on creating a new ice-cube shape, which would force me to work in cool conditions, but that would be incredibly opposite of cool, quite stupid and not nearly challenging enough. Ant suggestions on what it would take to become universally cool? Gosh this post sounds so juvenile but I must admit I get a kick out of it.

War on obesity

We, the bellies of the United States of America, need to combat our population's obesity. I propose that we invent a small, taste-rewarding food that expands twice its size in our stomaches when consumed before water (the reactor). The size expansion could be attributed to the creation of air pockets, like bread when it rises, or of a product that reacts similar to helium inflating a balloon, or of something similar to a toy miniature grow creature. Not sure what the end-result (no pun intended) would be with all of that air floating around, but we need to jump on this.

Invention

Written here is an Alan Kay quotation that has been resting on my mind for the past several half-hours. "The best way to predict the future is to invent it." Perhaps I'll come up with my own twist on this idea later--but that depends on whether or not I choose to ponder life or live life this grand evening.

Pirates treasure chests

Aye, I recently saw a Pirates of the Caribbean lovin' friend of yore who took this hysterical photo of herself at the Sandbar in Lawrence. We were celebrating the final days of bachelorettehood for a dear friend whom at many times throughout the evening contagiously stole the gazes of mates and their lassies with her fun-loving spirit. She's my Oprah-friend as I like to call her. She physically doesn't resemble Oprah, but I am so often amazed at how magnetic, full of light, and openminded she is. When I see her, I see Oprah and when I see Oprah, I see her. Its an inward-thing that projects outward. Her sensitivity toward others' differences is mature beyond most, perhaps only matched by Oprah, and me of course :) Oh, and by others whom I can't wait to meet. She's a great and beautiful person both inside and out. Very much like a sister. She's the kind of friend who everyone would want as a friend if they only knew. Just like the Vietnamese restaurant in Westport named Sung Son, her friendship is the best-kept secret in Kansas City. Which leads me to this:

I was prepared to have an absolute blast at the Sandbar dancing the night away with my friend. But something came over me in the biggest-most-heartfelt way when I saw her jump up on the windowsill to give her best-rocked out version to every Journey-esque song that played on the jukebox at the beginning of the night. Tears gushed down my face. Not sure why really. Perhaps it was because I know she deserves the happiness of true love. Perhaps it was because I treasure just knowing her and being able to claim all the memories we've shared together. What I do know is that it wasn't a cry of sadness or loss, but more of a rejoicing in my friend's good fortune and my good fortune for ever having met her. I would have loved to have spent more time with her over the past year during her engagement if I could have.

The trouble was, however, that I could not contain this overwhelming feeling for more than five minutes at a time. I was in and out of the mermaids' room most of the night, trying desperately to re-apply my makeup each time so that I could emerge as a dancing wild-woman with her. But I never quite made it. The last thing I wanted my friend to see was me bawling like I was for her happiness and then having to explain what I was feeling when I couldn't even put it into words, and I'm almost positive she would have mistaken the teary-eyed cringed look on my face as something other than what it was. So instead, I stayed in a little nook directly between the mermaid's room and the bar. I can't tell you how many drinks I ordered from the bartender with tears actively streaming down my face. There is a line in Vanilla Sky that goes, "I think she's the saddest girl ever to hold a martini." Well, I definitely topped that one for I was the weepiest girl ever to consume three or four bahama mamas and there is nothing sad about about that drink except perhaps the calories and the carbs.

Napping

Illegally napping off of the sanctioned trail in forbidden tufts of wild grasses born free as they sway with life's sweet aroma to an invisibly shapeless and comforting breath leisurely caressing my face only a debatably naive skip from the barren base of the actively smoldering Mount St. Helen's that feigns shadowlessness so monstrously magnificent.

KC from an outsider's view

My roommate, a recent KC transplant who wishes to go by the name JR, and I spent most of the weekend decorating our charming apartment, designing and sewing new dresses and drinking wine we purchased last weekend from Yakima Valley in WA. While JR searched for sewing needles, she stumbled across a 2005 poem she wrote about KC. Directly after her discovery, she rose to her feet, took a thoughtful sip of her pinot noir, and read from her pink-papered, handwritten poem as if she were presenting her thoughts to Mayor Barnes with candid authority.

I chuckled loudly at her poetic commentary. I have never heard anyone describe KC the way she had verbalized. Everyone here, including me, has great pride in our hometown, but it was interesting to hear an outsider's point of view. While I still laugh at the humor of her poem, there are many key points that she hits that are actually quite honest and true. For your enjoyment, or for your displeasure, here are the verses of my roommate:

"Kansas City. Full of Pride. Full of Anger built inside. Full of mafia. Full of jerks. Full of Users, Abusers and the Works.

Full of Offices of Corporates who don't care. Full of People who's lives are going nowhere.

Full of Nothing, Full of It, Full of People who don't get it.

Full of homebodies without a life. Full of People who argue and fight. Full of rejects. Full of stoners. Full of persons who are loners.

But I still live here, why? To hang in there for who? To be paid nothing for what? To be dating nobodies and I could move and be dating somebodies. To be honest with myself and move I should. To be mad at myself and stay I won't. To be rolled around in this place of mud and grime is dumb.

Why should I stay and not get away? Who and why are my friends out here? Are they here to use me and do what they will? Are they just needy?

Everyone here is more depressed than I have ever seen. They sit here and wallow about their long days and then they do nothing to change their ways. What exactly does Kansas City have to offer? It rots in the middle of earth for a reason. Nobody likes it and nobody leaves it. A population of unhappy people with nothing to fight for. They are boring and sad and eat all the time. I am bored and mad and sick of these people. They are very standoffish and rude and have nothing to say. Maybe they don't care and like it that way. Kansas City."

Back

Travels to Portland, Mount St. Helen's, and Table Rock Lake in MO have been stealing my time away from blogging, but I'm back. And, it's been an amazing week...

Pea-sized, pea-brained idea

My friend and I were looking online for used furniture that we could restore to our liking. Most pieces were pricey, even on ebay, but we continued our search. And then we found it, or so it seemed. $23 for a whole bedroom set at Hobby Lobby? The photos looked great but what was the catch? Little did we know that the photo was true to size and that it was miniature furniture for a doll house. Must search on, must search on.

Salads and tea

I went to Hen House's salad bar with a coworker the other day during lunch hour. My coworker laughed at me because I grabbed the large plastic container, but, I only put a couple pieces of lettuce in it. So I confessed. I don't like eating lettuce in my salads.

Salads and lettuce are virtually synonymous, so I feel obligated to add a couple of pieces of lettuce to my salads even though I don't eat it. Now, crispy lettuce on a cheeseburger is different; it adds a little tasteless crrrunch to the bite. I suppose it adds a crunch to the salad as well, but why eat that when you can eat the cheese, black olives, raisins, and so on? Okay, maybe if you are carb-conscious, but even then, when I order lettuce wraps at Houlihans or PF Chang's I guarantee that 30 minutes later my stomach will begin to growl. And the cheapest way to fill up that tummy after eating a $9 plate of lettuce is by filling it either with free water or free refills of pop.

This brings me to another thought--I love tea. I love it. But sometimes, I don't know, it tastes sooooo...watered down. That's the best, and most ridiculous, way to describe it which is why I'm describing it that way. But boy, oh boy, I cannot wait to drink my watery tea tomorrow morning.

Dual-purpose products

It amazes me that certain products can have dual purposes. Take Clorox Toilet Bowl Cleaner for example. Yes, it can make a bowl shine, but were you aware that it can also rid white linen skirts of pesky blueberry stains?

Don't ask me why, but while drinking a blueberry shake at my desk, I opened my mouth--wide enough for blueberry shake (mixed with saliva) to drip onto my white skirt. Annoyed with myself, I walked into the bathroom to attempt to dab it with water, knowing that it would be a hopeless cause. But, once there, I miraculously bumped into a coworker who had an absolutely brilliant idea to dilute the toilet cleaner with H2O to dab onto my skirt. Without a doubt, I knew it was my only hope to save my new white skirt. And it worked perfectly. The only downside was that I had to walk around the rest of the afternoon smelling like toilet bleach.

The big idea

I am extremely interested in entrepreneurship. There are so many things about it that make it appealing to me. I've had so many ideas over the years, but I must admit that I am pretty sure that I came up with the money-maker of all money-makers today. I'll definitely post more about it in the coming days--just make sure you don't steal my idea!

Daily forecast music

I attended the Corporate Woods jazz festival this beautiful evening with some friends. I'm telling you, it was a truly gorgeous evening to be outside with thousands of other Kansas Citians. I adore going to large community events where people have a good time, particularly when the proceeds go to a good cause--it's a win-win situation.

I expect to get somewhat razzed for this, but one of my friends made the comment that he didn't have cable television at home, and that the jazz music to which we were listening was like flipping through cable and landing on The Weather Channel. And it was, but without a verbal daily forecast for the region.

I tried to appreciate the jazz--truly tried--but it is just not my thing. A tiny part of me feels like I should like jazz, being from Kansas City...I do appreciate the time and effort and love that the jazz musicians have for their music and I respect the listeners who have an ear for the stuff...but I just can't get into it. You can't expect me to like jazz music just because KC has a history of it. I do like the idea that jazz can bring Kansas Citians together, like it did at the festival, but I must admit that I was a bit disappointed when I figured out that Don Harman was not in anyway affiliated. Perhaps next year.

The braided pretzel

While eating some miniature pretzels this afternoon, I couldn't help but think how life sometimes resembles a pretzel, whether it is shaped like a stick or like the photo to the right. But, I pondered, is there anything more twisted than the photo to the right? And then it came to me--a braided pretzel. I'll point out some characteristics of each shape and let you create the meanings of each for yourself.

A pretzel shaped like a stick has a distinct beginning and end, though it can be difficult to determine which is which.

A pretzel shaped like the photo to the right has multiple paths with a couple of distinct ends. However, it you nibble off the protruding ends, it becomes an endless shape of turns, kind of like the symbol for infinity only much more complicated.

And then there is my concept of the braided pretzel. A shape where everything is so intertwined that each part of the braid continues along the same path, even through all of the twists and turns. Once it seems like you've found the end, you actually end right back up at the beginning.

After making up my own mind about the pretzel, I then decided to do some legitmate research about the history of the pretzel, finding that there are many claims of origin, but many historians consider them apocryphal. What I found interesting is that the pretzel is often considered a religious symbol for Lent, which is the 40 days leading up to Easter. Apparantly in the old Roman Empire circa 4th century, fasting christians shaped their breads to resemble arms crossed in prayer, using the Latin term bracellae, meaning "little arms." From that, the word bretzel was used and then it turned into the word pretzel.

I would be interested in learning my readers thoughts as to what I mean by the different shapes of pretzels and how they pertain to life.

Rolling roof proposal

No, this post isn't about the stadiums.

The weather has been absolutely gorgeous this spring, leading me to create a proposal that has to do with my everyday life. I propose that my company create a retractable roof for those beautiful sunshiny days like today for those of us who sit in a cubicle without a window. The new convertible office would be the ornament on top of the icing on top of the cake that my company already is.

Balancing nonprofit work

I've spent a good portion of my 20s receiving free things, such as concert tickets, delicious dinners and front-row seats at sporting events. But to tell you the truth, I am now much more interested in purchasing these types of items for my friends and myself on my own. Receiving free stuff isn't as appealing as it used to be. I'm almost positive that the appeal came from the idea that the people who didn't need to receive free items were the ones most likely to receive free items. But, my favorite memories of receiving those free items was when I was able to pass them on to others and to see the joy, gratitude and surprise that the gifts brought them in being able to experience something that was otherwise unobtainable.

If ever again I'm in the position to receive free items, I want nothing more than to be able to pass many of them on or, rather, be there to share in the receivers' joyful experience. I find it true that the more you give, the more you want to give, so much so that I have found myself at several times in my career devoting more time to nonprofit work than making money for myself. And to a fault, if you can find fault in that. Now I'm trying to balance that out, because I figure, if I made more money doing something that I absolutely love to do, then I can devote that money as well as myself to the organizations or individuals that fit in with my interests.

The lost whole numbers

I've got another Post It to post. This one is a bit more cerebral than the last. What I want to know is, who determined that the world number system would be based using the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10? Yes, it seems to work just fine. I mean, look at all the theories that have been proved in all areas of mathematics and applied to everyday life and art.

But, think of all the NEW theories you could come up with if you started from the beginning and assumed that the current series of numbers between 1 and 10 were actually missing whole numbers (see Post It). You could surely argue exactly how many whole numbers are missing between 1 and 10, but I chose to represent only two new whole numbers for the sake of argument. Please note I wrote "whole numbers" and not "invisible numbers."

The same rules would apply after 10, such as 11, 12, 13, 14 and so on, but would include the two new numbers in every set of 10.

Unfortunately, you can't create these new theories with a current calculator or computer. Perhaps this is where I come in and partner with a scientific calulator company and work with them in developing (revolutioning) the way we view numbers in mathematics.

I will probably add more to this post as I think of things.

Instant Messenger

The problem with instant messager at work is that despite how loud my headphones are, I still can't tune out my coworkers.

Good day for 3M

A couple of my Post Its made quite a stir among my work friends today. "What the heck do they mean?" they inquired, yet not as cursefree. So now I suppose I'll tell them while I look forward to them making fun of me on Thursday morning.

I came up with a new product for 3M. Another Post It product.

As I was putting together a large, thick, sealed envelope to be mailed through FedEx, I grabbed a large paperclip to attach the FedEx directions to the envelope. But the envelope was too thick. Not wanting to damage the envelope with tape, I quickly grabbed a Post It, ripped off the sticky part, and used it as tape.

Now, I suppose I could have used a large binder clip, but that would have required that I open my drawer to remove one.

If you have seen the movie Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, you would have a great appreciation for my discovery.

The search for truth

I sat down for a drink with a friend this evening. Our bartender, a philosopher who I'll name Mark #72, explained how he was fascinated by ancient philosophers like Plato and Plato's students. Mark #72 said that his own philosophy was "to maintain permanent disbelief," a cynical philosophy that would keep him from being labelled a fanatic, because he's not a fanatic. I am not a fanatic either, but instead of taking his philosophy, I'll twist mine a bit and write that I more closely identify with "maintaining a constant state of searching for truth until I find it." And if I'm not mistaken (I'm not), nearly every great writer that college students study in their required Western Civilization courses was on his/her own search for the very same thing.

ill luck

"Just as it in error to assume that bodily symptoms as basic as a stomach ache are not a serious health issue, so it is to dismiss one's extensive series of extremely unfortunate events as being of ill luck." --Steph (Yes, that would be me.)

Lyrics that resonate

"And being apart wasn't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of rediscovering you...
I'm forever yours -- faithfully." -- lyrics from Faithfully by Journey

Fireworks

I recently experienced the best fireworks display, perhaps the best to date, one that was synchronized to music. And as amazing and beautiful as the bright fireworks were in the foreground, I couldn't take my eyes off of the raging, rolling clouds of smoke that hid behind them. It was almost as if the gorgeous and entertaining fireworks display masked something much, much darker. At least 40,000 people watched the same event, but how many of them made the effort to look deeper, to look beyond what the fireworks coordinator wanted them to see?

Time and space conundrum

I often sense that the present and future are the past, that the world should be more advanced than where we are currently and than where we are heading. I look at brand new models of objects and technology, such as automobiles and computers, and my instincts and imagination instantly inform me that they are outdated prior to their release. Even prior to their origination. By centuries. I glance around at the environment, all of our environments that we inhabit day to day, and it is almost as if I'm viewing a crinkled black and white moving picture on a reel from a time when the world was innocently ignorant to the reality that stands before them in many dimensions. The type of reality that every single being currently experiences, but has yet to understand. They often dismiss what they assume to be overly simplistic communication through the senses as meaningless. A mind must be opened before the trained eye and ear can decipher the many dimensions of reality. The easiest way to solve the task is by focusing attention on a single dimension with the knowledge that all the dimensions are parallel to one another yet intersect at the same time, all with positive outcomes. Perhaps the mundane tasks in daily life are deliberately switched on to auto-repeat only until the truth sweeps through their ravenous hearts, transforming their hope and faith to certainty.

Leftovers

I went out to lunch with my coworkers, a group that we like to call the (company) Marching Band. Why that name stuck, I don't remember, but we make jokes about Marching Band practices ALL the time and its still funny. Anyway, we were all at lunch and one of them asked me why I hadn't finished my food. "Do you realize how many hungry people in the world would love to have those leftovers?" And I responded, "Of course! I'm sure the whole cast of Survivor would LOVE to eat them."

Candy cigs

I could use a chalky candy cigarette about now.

McDonald's song

I typed the following from memory, but couldn't manage to type it all in one breath.

"Big Mac, McBLT, a Quarter-Pounder with some cheese.
Filet O-Fish, a hamburger, a cheeseburger, a Happy Meal,
McDonald's tasty golden French Fries, regular and large in size
And salads, chef or garden or a chicken salad, oriental
Big, Big Breakfast, Egg McMuffin, Hot, Hot Cakes and Sausage,
Maybe biscuits, bacon, egg and cheese and sausage, danish, hashbrowns, too
And for dessert, hot apple pies and sundaes, three varieties
A soft-serve cone, three kinds of shakes and chocolaty-chip cookies
And to drink, a Coca-Cola, Diet Coke and orange drink, a Sprite and coffee, decaf, too and low-fat milk and orange juice.
I love McDonald's good times, great tastes.
Can I get this all at one place?"

Extraordinary

I'm not your average Steph Doe.

Shipping number

One afternoon in the Fall of 1987, I sat squirrelly in a plastic chair on the end of the second row in music class. Being disengaged in the song selection from the hymnal, I instead focused my attention on a tracking number that had been stamped on a cardboard shipping box across the room. I still remember that number. NWXCWH1T221606314384NB. No, I don't think that's normal. But I do wonder to this day what was actually shipped in that box. I mean, what if there was something scandalous shipped inside that box; just maybe that box has an interesting story behind it. You never know.

Rain stick

I think I have yet to hear music implementing the usage of an Chilean rain stick.

Monster ballads

There's nothing like listening to a monster ballad on a sunny, spring afternoon. It takes me back. My distaste for hairbands in my youth meant that I never really liked those songs back then. And, come to think of it, listening to them now really doesn't bring back many memories. Hmm. Except for maybe a school-sponsored roller-skating party or two.

Illegitimate children

I wonder if I have any illegimate children running around.

Outsourcing

I'm reading an extraordinary bestseller titled The World Is Flat. So now I'm comtemplating either moving to India for an American job or starting my own company in America and outsourcing the secretary/executive assistant work to India.