Experiment: Weight loss

It seems that so many people seem to fail at losing weight despite all of the expert advice in the fitness industry. Normally, I would prefer to walk outdoors, but I might have discovered a fantastic use for the electronic treadmill.

Today, during my 30 minute run/walk on the treadmill, I burned 188 calories (according to my age and weight). My experiment is-- the next time I go to the gym, I'm going to jump on the treadmill, jog/walk at the same intensity, speed, and time, BUT I'm going to reduce my age and weight to an age and weight that supposedly burns more calories. I plan on doing this either tonight or tomorrow, and I will follow up with my results.

Modern Major-general

Here are the lyrics to the song Modern Major General from The Pirate Movie. I think they are quite fantastic and fun and clever. Here they are:

I am the very model of a modern Major-general,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral.
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical,
From Marathon to Waterloo and in order categorical.
I'm very well acquainted with matters mathematical,
I understand equations both the simple and quadratical.
About binomial theorem I am teeming with a lot of news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
(With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.)

I am very good at intrical and differential calculus,
I know the scientific names of beings animalculus.
In short in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major general.
(In short in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern major general.)

I comprehend contemporary culture North American.
I straighten more piratical erections than Bo Derek and,
I'm in to EST and all the rest, I've undergone analysis,
I've jumped beyond the gravitude to permanent paralysis.
My muse is into music, but my credit I'll not trouble you,
From R&B to S&M, cross over C&W,
To groovin' with the Doobies in my Malibu white-souling tones.
Man, I'm older than the Beatles, but I'm younger than the Rolling Stones.
(He's older than the Beatles, but younger than the Rolling Stones.)

My military knowledge for I'm plucky and adventury.
Embraces M*A*S*H and Star Wars and the 22nd century.
In short in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major general.
(In short in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern major general.)

Addendum to "Do you know which way is up?"

In an earlier post that I published recently, I suggested that if you were lying on the ground with your head pointing to the east, if someone told you to look up, would you look straight ahead toward the ceiling or toward the east? I suggested that you look toward the east to be correct, but I also have another concept about this to suggest.

Let's say that you stand up after testing the previous suggestion. If you again look toward your eyebrows, then east would be up toward the sky, west would be down into the earth, and north and south would be blended into one another as all of the space around us. So technically, north and south AND east would be blurred together in the horizon.

This idea suggests that the idea of "west" is virtually impossible, unless you use the term to keep you grounded. For example, if you decided to turn in cartwheels, if your head is considered up in comparison to your feet, you would need to be grounded for only one-fourth of the time it takes to complete the cartwheel.

This could be an intelligent, fun and logical argument for children to use with their parents who want to ground them for their behaviour.

Relationship between money and choice

In my current surroundings, Money = Choices.
Lack of Money = Responsible Choices + Education
Lack of Money + Money = More Responsible Choices + Education
More Responsible Choices + Education = Better Judgment

Amused

The media and my current surroundings are fake, even if I have contributed to them in some way. I would like to state, however, that I would love the opportunity to rebuild this place into something very real and very fantastic. This once beautiful and glorious world has been cheapened by force, and I cannot think of anything here that impresses me.

Do you know which way is up?

Let's say you lay down on the floor on your back with your head toward the east. If someone told you to look up, would you choose to look directly at the ceiling ahead of you, or would you tilt your head back by raising your chin and leaving your head on the floor, and look toward the east by looking toward your eyebrows? I would look toward the east.

Some colors > others

Depending on the purpose, Orange, Green, and Purple can be greater colors than Red, Yellow, and Blue. For the sake of this post, I will treat these three colors as greater and explain why. Yes, I realize that if you draw and color-in a circle with a Yellow crayon and then color over that same circle with a Blue crayon, you will undoubtedly end up with the color of Green. But that means that it takes two different crayons to create that third color. Therefore, 1+1=3. However, because there are two 1's it suggests that the 1's are the exact same and equal, when in actuality the 1's in 1+1 are two completely different colors and in no way related and no way equal other than they belong to the family of colors, because Red and Yellow, and Blue are Prime Colors (Primary).

If I had to select two crayons, I might select two of the colors out of Orange, Green, and Purple. The reason being that each alone is comprised of three different colors. Orange, for example, can be Orange, or you can break it down into Red and Yellow. Therefore, 1/anything = 2

What is interesting to me is that if you select two out of these three colors (Orange, Green, and Purple) you would yield five out of six different colors. For example, if you selected Orange and Green, you would have Orange, Red, and Yellow and Green, Blue, and Yellow.

But what is even more fascinating is that using the same example listed in the previous paragreaph, with Orange and Green, you can actually create all six colors. The first five colors would come from the breakdown of Orange and Green as listed in the previous paragraph. The sixth color (Purple in this case) comes from assessing those five colors listed above. You will find that you can create Purple from the breakdown of Orange and Green, by combining Red and Blue.

How I'd like to be remembered

This post may sound morbid but is not intended to be. At several points in my life I was taught about poise, professionalism, appearances, etc. You could call it "training to project a certain image." In fact, you can see this "image" often on television personalities, celebrities, and marketing/public relations professionals. I know you know the image of which I'm speaking.

During this "training," one of the questions we had to answer was "How would you like to be remembered at your funeral?" Well, this is actually a trick question in disguise. For some reason, there is a lure toward answering this question in such a way that you'd like to be thought of as, for example, a good mother, best friend, dedicated worker, a lover of whatever, etc. For some reason, people would like tons of people at their funeral, thinking the more people, the better. At one time, I would have answered that question the same way. Now I view the answer differently.

So, how would I like to be remembered at my funeral? I would like people to say that Steph deserved to die.

First if all, this holds me responsible to live my life according to whether or not I believe that death is a punishment or a reward. Either way, my life on earth will be the best life that I can lead.

Secondly, this way of thinking tests others' view of my death as my punishment or my reward. If others view my death as my punishment (or even as my reward), then let them be held responsible for their view.

Incomplete

I created this one today primary to add a splash of color to the walls. I am not finished with it and it is too boring for me. My thinking is that what I have currently painted will serve as the background to something a bit more detailed. Whenever I purchase more white paint to mix, I'll show you the completed work.

Another painting

Painted this one last night. Inspired by a greeting card, as with the last. The greeting card company is called Papyrus. Nothing spectacular, but it is fun for me. Thought I would share part of my wishes with you.

Art enthusiasts need to lighten up

If art enthusiasts let go of their tight egos they would discover they possess a greater type of ego capable of opening up their minds, creativity and happiness underneath.

I recently attended a lecture on Caravaggio at the Nelsen Atkins Museum of Art. Anyway, the lecture was scheduled at such a time that I could attend that and then visit the Young Friends of the Arts Second Fridays event held at the museum afterwards. It would be a complete understatement to admit that I've been going through a lengthy period of reevaluation, but I applied a bit of what I taught myself to these two events. Instead of dressing in an expensive sleek, black number, I instead went bold (even in my own standards) and mixed multiple layers, patterns, and colors in an ensemble that was sure to get whispers of arrogant ignorance.

I pulled into the parking garage, looked down at my attire, felt fortunate that it was cool outside so that I could reveal my outfit at my own convenience with the removal of my near floor-length coat-- and I--I chickened out! A pickup truck drove by at that exact moment with a No Fear sticker in the window, and apparantly that was all the boost I needed to walk in, because I attended the events alone.

I interestingly found myself not drawn to the topic so much but rather to the presentation of the material. Having a somewhat dry delivery myself, I can appreciate the sounds of amusment to the speaker's wit. As I listened to the material, I took notes of what I saw around me.

Enthusiasts dressed nicely, mostly in dark colors like black, and I could tell that they probably spent a pretty benjamin on their attire. But how--BORING. What I'm trying to say is that the event was at a museum, full of expression, full of opinion, full of everything but boring. What I don't understand is if these enthusiasts enjoy art as much as they say they do, is it because they feel that they themselves are constricted in speech and originality on a normal basis? Do they long to free themselves by making opinions to the world no matter how many feathers they ruffle because they live in a world where unoriginal people shun originality? It seems to me that certain types of people are allowed to be original, like artists and rock stars, but they are also unfairly, and WRONGLY I might add, looked down upon when in fact, their ability to show their originality demonstrates the STRENGTH that most people lack.

When it comes down to becoming original, you should look for things you like and admire, but you should also pay attention to what you dislike and why. You can copy what you like and then make your own ammendments as you go. This is your own testing period until you start to see a pattern that you like. That pattern starts to become your style and is unique to you.

My hunch is that at home, most people already know what they like. The difficult part is showing that side of themselves in public where the unoriginal people can be very cruel. There are ways to combat this, too.

In applying this information with the Nelson Atkins Museum, I suggest that the Young Friends of the Arts create their own unique niche in the social scene by suggesting that participants come to their events with a splash of originality, or even a whole ensemble dripping of personal voice. Not only would this be personally freeing, but it would also give others deeply insightful talking points. Afterall, the museum IS a place of expression. If you can't express yourself there, then where can you?

And she paints, too

I haven't yet named this one, though I began painting it initially to teach myself how to blend colors in acrylic with nothing but the paint. Found a photo I liked, possibly taken by a famous photographer and I superapologize for forgetting that person's name. Midway, I lost the photo (which was on a greeting card), so I had to improvise, hence the blooms within the bloom.

Time to reinvent the wheel of non-tedious jobs

Disappointingly enough, at this point in United States history, the more boring a job or political topic is, the more important they are. Everything boring is deception. All jobs and topics can be made fun and interesting, and some jobs and topics are purposefully made boring, like taxes and contracts, to distract too many people from paying too close attention. This is exactly why Americans seemingly do not care about some of the important things that ultimately do matter. Yes, family matters, but so does your job. Your job matters more than you think. More than money, even. Everyone wants and NEEDS to enjoy how they spend 1/3 of their adult lives. Jobs do not and should not be created to be extremely tedious. I once WATCHED someone sit at a computer hitting the zero key and the enter key for four hours straight over five days in one week. I'm going to watch the second hand on a clock right now as I determine the number of times she must have hit the zero key and the enter key in 10 seconds. Heck, I'll even type it here:
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
That's nearly 50 in 10 seconds.
Or 300 in one minute.
Or 18,000 in one hour.
Or 72,000 in a four-hour shift.
Or 360,000 in one week's worth of four-hour shifts.

Whoever gave this poor woman this job should be imprisoned for torturing this woman with a job that they themselves would never do.

Solution? Because I am a Problem-Fixer in addition to a mere Problem-Solver, I would not eliminate the column of zeros altogether, because I have learned that oftentimes what is not being said is just as important to know as what is being said. Instead, I would make each person responsible for filling out the row of information responsible for typing in the zero, or (smart idea, Mr. Idiot Boss!), I would teach my employees how to correctly use Excel so that the zero, surprise surprise, AUTOMATICALLY appears!

Now, if the company is creating these types of useless positions just to help people make a minimum wage paycheck, I applaude the generosity, but there is an even better way. I suggest that the positions of the whole entire company be restructured to create positions where EVERYONE has multiple roles at various levels in the company (obviously each role would be distributed differently depending on the hierarchy of the company), including typing in their own zeros. As you can see, with the time it took to type in 360,000 zeros -- one week -- that time would instead be redistributed to everyone, including the new employee aka initial zero-typer, so that the zero-typer can someday move past that crappy position and not have to be forced to live uncomfortably off of the government AND YOUR TAX DOLLARS. Because afterall, give me the name of a company who would value the job Zero-Typer on a resume? At an interview, IF the zero-typer got one for heaven's sake, if asked what other activities zero-typer did at her position--what does zero-typer say? Should she say that she also hit the enter key, too? When asked, "What did you like about your position as zero-typer," should she say, "I enjoyed it because I could press the zero and enter keys with two different fingers on my right hand and take a drink out of my QT cup with my left hand?" That's what I would say! These people deserve respect, too, and perhaps more respect than the boss who gave them that position. It is of my opinion that a boss who is doing this type of thing deep down sincerely wants to help but hasn't been prepared or taught how to help. What comes off as a gesture of generosity most times ends up being thought of as a "charity case" because the Zero-Typer is absolutely miserable zero-typing, and the Boss begins seeing his idea of helping this person not being appreciated (even though he wasn't taught how to help in the best way).

Unfortunately, I have witnessed more zero-typers, and disappointed good-hearted bosses for that matter, too many times in my 29 years and I'd like to fix this problem. Happy to say it--Time to Reinvent The Wheel. The old wheel's flat, losing traction, had so many patches that it is tough to find the original tire, and on top of that it is missing a hubcap (which is probably being used by the zero-typer as a bucket to collect donations on the plaza).

Too much History Channel

They could find Atlantis if they created more above sea-level icebergs to decrease the depth of the ocean floor.

Civilized hieroglyphics

I eagerly visited the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art last weekend to take a new look at the treasury with hopes that this time it might awaken some new interpretations. I typically find that practical and functional art pieces are my favorites. I didn't make my way all the way through the museum, but I spent a good amount of time in front of the Egyptian hieroglyphics; I determined that the hieroglyphics are more civilized than the written or spoken word. The written or spoken word, no matter how descriptive, has a way of being taken out of context so easily that it is alarming. A phrase, comment or word can be easily slanted to mean something in which it wasn't originally intended. And this is the same with photos and video. Sometimes, despite the truth being directly in your face and in plain English can be misinterpretted based on previous notions that were slanted in the beginning. This is how things can become something out of nothing. Hieroglyphics and other pictures can be interpretted regardless of language and are therefore more universal than mathematics, which in itself is a language to be learned. It has long been my determination that that which seems to be more civilized is in fact less civilized than previous generations before us. With the exception of slavery.

Black and white

Still working on this idea and will provide more information and facts to support my reasoning in the future. Several years ago I was led into a discussion about black and white. My take on it initially was that there are many shades of gray in between the two, meaning that what may be good/right for some may not be good/right for all. One side may be more good/right than the other. This way of thinking assumes that both the black and the white are percentages that add together to create 100% and that most times the majority wins, like in an election. However this way of thinking about black and white creates good/winners and bad/losers rather than acknowledging the fact that it is in human nature for people to act good/right. If both sides (black and white) had all of the correct and untwisted information, they would choose to be good/right in the purest sense of the word.
How can you determine if something is black OR white? Perhaps it is 100% black AND 100% white at the same time with both black and white doing what is good/right, in the purest sense of the word. The only condition is that everyone must be a winner to create harmony.

My childhood dream

I got into an email conversation with a fellow overachiever and good friend whom I've known since middle school. She reminded me of several of our old topics of discussion. For example, when all the teachers and other students would ask us what we wanted to be when we grew up, our normal jovial response was "The coolest people in the WORLD!" I don't remember saying this, but knowing my mentality in middle school, that phrase awfully does sound reminiscent of something I would have proclaimed. But somewhere between my pre-teen years and current life I have lost sight of my childhood dream. What I failed to do is to set some goals to achieving this status. Perhaps it is time to get back on track. I guess I could take the easy route to obtaining coolness and focus my energies on creating a new ice-cube shape, which would force me to work in cool conditions, but that would be incredibly opposite of cool, quite stupid and not nearly challenging enough. Ant suggestions on what it would take to become universally cool? Gosh this post sounds so juvenile but I must admit I get a kick out of it.

War on obesity

We, the bellies of the United States of America, need to combat our population's obesity. I propose that we invent a small, taste-rewarding food that expands twice its size in our stomaches when consumed before water (the reactor). The size expansion could be attributed to the creation of air pockets, like bread when it rises, or of a product that reacts similar to helium inflating a balloon, or of something similar to a toy miniature grow creature. Not sure what the end-result (no pun intended) would be with all of that air floating around, but we need to jump on this.

Invention

Written here is an Alan Kay quotation that has been resting on my mind for the past several half-hours. "The best way to predict the future is to invent it." Perhaps I'll come up with my own twist on this idea later--but that depends on whether or not I choose to ponder life or live life this grand evening.

Pirates treasure chests

Aye, I recently saw a Pirates of the Caribbean lovin' friend of yore who took this hysterical photo of herself at the Sandbar in Lawrence. We were celebrating the final days of bachelorettehood for a dear friend whom at many times throughout the evening contagiously stole the gazes of mates and their lassies with her fun-loving spirit. She's my Oprah-friend as I like to call her. She physically doesn't resemble Oprah, but I am so often amazed at how magnetic, full of light, and openminded she is. When I see her, I see Oprah and when I see Oprah, I see her. Its an inward-thing that projects outward. Her sensitivity toward others' differences is mature beyond most, perhaps only matched by Oprah, and me of course :) Oh, and by others whom I can't wait to meet. She's a great and beautiful person both inside and out. Very much like a sister. She's the kind of friend who everyone would want as a friend if they only knew. Just like the Vietnamese restaurant in Westport named Sung Son, her friendship is the best-kept secret in Kansas City. Which leads me to this:

I was prepared to have an absolute blast at the Sandbar dancing the night away with my friend. But something came over me in the biggest-most-heartfelt way when I saw her jump up on the windowsill to give her best-rocked out version to every Journey-esque song that played on the jukebox at the beginning of the night. Tears gushed down my face. Not sure why really. Perhaps it was because I know she deserves the happiness of true love. Perhaps it was because I treasure just knowing her and being able to claim all the memories we've shared together. What I do know is that it wasn't a cry of sadness or loss, but more of a rejoicing in my friend's good fortune and my good fortune for ever having met her. I would have loved to have spent more time with her over the past year during her engagement if I could have.

The trouble was, however, that I could not contain this overwhelming feeling for more than five minutes at a time. I was in and out of the mermaids' room most of the night, trying desperately to re-apply my makeup each time so that I could emerge as a dancing wild-woman with her. But I never quite made it. The last thing I wanted my friend to see was me bawling like I was for her happiness and then having to explain what I was feeling when I couldn't even put it into words, and I'm almost positive she would have mistaken the teary-eyed cringed look on my face as something other than what it was. So instead, I stayed in a little nook directly between the mermaid's room and the bar. I can't tell you how many drinks I ordered from the bartender with tears actively streaming down my face. There is a line in Vanilla Sky that goes, "I think she's the saddest girl ever to hold a martini." Well, I definitely topped that one for I was the weepiest girl ever to consume three or four bahama mamas and there is nothing sad about about that drink except perhaps the calories and the carbs.