Rubrics Twist

KC's own are ignorant of KC culture

2007-09-06T09:59:00.000-07:00

I am amazed by the amount of Kansas City people who list "travelling" as their number one interest on social networks such as MySpace. Metropolitan Kansas City has such a diverse community of backgrounds, yet people are afraid and ignorant of the cultures that actually LIVE within 20 minutes of their homes. Instead, they travel to latin places such as Mexico and Brazil and talk of the language barrier and how they wanted to hang out in places where the "locals" hang out. Do I see these same people anywhere near the fantastic Southwest Boulevard dining in? Never. Get to know the people in your own community, people!

Land/water vehicle

2007-05-18T19:56:00.000-07:00

It is about time that we invent a new land/water vehicle. You should be able to drive this thing on the highways at the suggested speed, as well as drive it into the water--more like the OCEAN--so that you can travel easily across oceans to other continents. I don't care if it is submarine or an above-water seacraft. Whatever this vehicle becomes, we need this soon so that I can get a-travellin'.

Had to be said

2007-04-11T20:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when it rains, it sprinkles.

Response to TonysKansasCity post on cheerleading

2007-03-25T18:53:00.000-07:00

My response to a post on Tony's Kansas City regarding Chiefs Cheerleaders:

"Because I am a fellow blogger since 2004 and a former Chiefs Cheerleader of three years, I may be able to lend a little light to this situation. At first glance, the professional cheerleading world and the TKC blog clash dramatically. I find that perhaps it is mostly a difference of expression, meaning that a professional cheerleader must express a certain high-level group mentality in order to be successful whereas a blogger must be individualistic in expression to be original. Let me explain:

"Professional cheerleaders are often not given the respect they deserve for several reasons, with one of the biggest reasons being that the cheerleaders are so highly skilled at performance, communication and community involvement that they make this most physically and mentally strenuous and challenging opportunity appear effortless. In fact, on top of dance ability, attitude, communication, awareness, marketability, leadership and so many other qualities that a young woman must possess to be selected for the squad, the cheerleaders are trained to be highly disciplined and polished so much so that the ladies strive for, in a sense, perfection. After all, to be on a professional cheerleading squad, not only do you have to memorize hours and hours of material, you have to be aware of 35 other women's actions on and off the field. You must be on top of your game and ensure that the other 35 women are on top of their game as well to be successful as a group. This requires constant verbal and nonverbal communication between the staff and the cheerleaders, and I can guarantee you that if there is any sort of slacking on a cheerleader's part that the behavior will not be tolerated and the cheerleader would most likely be released from her high-profile cheerleadering contract. Afterall, I'm sure you have heard that you are only as strong as your weakest member. The strength in the Chiefs Cheerleader organization lies in the ability to harness individualistic expression in such a way that they can quickly tailor it to meet the group's performance needs. I will suggest that it is reminiscent to the likes of an airshow. The precision and timing that it takes for a pilot to perform in an airshow are so crucial that any slack in performance would be detrimental to an organization's reputation, commerce, and overall health.

"Now, being that I learned so much about group expression through Chiefs Cheerleading prior to becoming a blogger, I must admit that I struggled initially in finding my own voice as a blogger. Now that I'm thinking about it, I feel that my group training is in closer comparison to that of the military mentality than that of any other organization. Even though I have not been a cheerleader for the Chiefs in the last several years, I know that some people still view me as such and that my words and actions may be associated with them fairly or unfairly. Fortunately, however, I am also a strong believer in personal expression as a means to finding who you are and your place in this world. I have taught myself not to rely on cheerleading as my identity, just as being a blogger is not my identity, but to use these tools as a means to discovering my identity.Tony's Kansas City is the blog of blogs in this town and is successful for many reasons, including but not limited to your voice, but also your inclusiveness of other bloggers' material. Personal opinion, especially controversal and unpolitically correct opinion attracts attention and can be entertaining. At first glance, your inclusion of buxom beauties into your non-buxom beauty commentary could lead a first-time reader to think correctly or incorrectly that you objectify women. Now, for the people who read your blog regularly, they should know that you appreciate a woman's inner and outer beauty and long-term relationships (because of your relationship with Sheri), and that you also try (notice that I notice you try, with try being the key word!) to relate your buxom pictures to the description of your content. To a Chiefs Cheerleader this can come across as being appalling because of some of the comments made to them by drunk, immature and unintelligent men who don't have the mental capacity to acknowledge the cheerleader's work for what it truly is. A cheerleader's work is just as technical as that of a so-called blue-collar worker polished in such a way to that of a so-called white-collar worker's standards. If any male has ever felt negatively underappreciated from women because of his job, then he should know that at least he can make a living off of it, whereas the professional cheerleader chooses to do this because of reasons other than money. You could make an argument/paradox here as to who the sell-out really is-- a man who hates his job but does it for the money or a woman who loves her job, makes little money yet finds opportunities for personal growth in what she's doing.

"Keep up the good work, Tony, and know that cheerleaders bring a certain light to this world that everyone can use. Afterall, our friends, teachers, and families are the ultimate cheerleaders that have pushed us all to where we are today."

Begin at the end

2007-03-13T21:37:00.000-07:00

If you ever significantly go backwards in life, you might as well start from the end and work your way back to the beginning. Consider your current circumstances death (the end) and work toward youth (beginning).

Update: As of April 23, 2007, I have decided to switch course. I'm at youth and have my life to live!

Blend the stereotyping in elections

2007-02-28T21:28:00.000-08:00

It is interesting for me to hear that the KC Mayoral election is between two candidates who come from different racially different backgrounds. What this tells me is that the people who are voting in this election are stereotyping their candidates. Surely our citizens are much more intelligent than that, I know they are. For example, if I had to choose a type of dog to represent my interests, I'd have to choose a well-bred mutt. The reason being is that appearances can be deceiving. Here's my point:

I am a dark-blonde, blue-eyed, young woman (Conservative).
Who sometimes bleaches my hair (Liberal).

Who wants to date a classy, fun, handsome, intelligent gentleman (Conservative).
But who typically finds conversation easier with Top Gun outside of the Barnes and Noble at the Country Club Plaza (Liberal, and to clarify, I said conversation, people).

Who listens to both sides constructively before diplomatically responding (Conservative).
And enjoys a witty argument, perhaps even with a joke (Liberal).
Who is known to take the opposing side, not for argument's sake, but for opening other's minds (Liberal).

Who wants to live in a fantastically posh mansion larger than yours (Conservative, or Liberal if you watch MTV Cribs).
But has spent the majority of my 29 years in Wyandotte County (Liberal).

Who wants to go to a highly expensive top-rated college to obtain an MBA (Conservative or Liberal, depending)
But instead started out at a community college to save money despite being at the top of my high school class (Liberal).

Who plans to start several businesses and build an empire, complete with a magazine (Conservative).
Yet has proved through my extensive list of volunteer activities and roles that some things are more important than money (Liberal).

Who at certain times in my life have been well-respected by authority (Conservative).
But has also been psychological and physically beaten up by those in power (Liberal).

Who wants to be rich beyond belief (Conservative).
And has found more riches than I could have ever imagined by being poor (Liberal).

Basically, what I'm wanting to say is that I am both Democratic and Republican, as I believe others to be. The State Line in Kansas City needs to be erased, as with the line between who is Democratic and Republican. What needs to happen is that we need to teach Democrats the positives of becoming Republican, and the Republicans the positives of becoming Democrats. For I believe a person who is both Republican and Democrat is stronger and can more easily make an educated decision. Balance, people, balance. Find the common ground and build on those similarities first to find strength.

Not impressed

2007-02-24T10:32:00.001-08:00

I'm not here to impress anybody, and if that surprisingly impresses somebody, and I am surprisingly impressed by their surprise, then perhaps that somebody is worthy of my conversation. This is not in reference to this blog, though it is good supplemental information.

Experiment: Weight loss

2007-02-23T11:44:00.000-08:00

It seems that so many people seem to fail at losing weight despite all of the expert advice in the fitness industry. Normally, I would prefer to walk outdoors, but I might have discovered a fantastic use for the electronic treadmill.

Today, during my 30 minute run/walk on the treadmill, I burned 188 calories (according to my age and weight). My experiment is-- the next time I go to the gym, I'm going to jump on the treadmill, jog/walk at the same intensity, speed, and time, BUT I'm going to reduce my age and weight to an age and weight that supposedly burns more calories. I plan on doing this either tonight or tomorrow, and I will follow up with my results.

Modern Major-general

2007-02-20T18:11:00.000-08:00

Here are the lyrics to the song Modern Major General from The Pirate Movie. I think they are quite fantastic and fun and clever. Here they are:

I am the very model of a modern Major-general,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral.
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical,
From Marathon to Waterloo and in order categorical.
I'm very well acquainted with matters mathematical,
I understand equations both the simple and quadratical.
About binomial theorem I am teeming with a lot of news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
(With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.)

I am very good at intrical and differential calculus,
I know the scientific names of beings animalculus.
In short in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major general.
(In short in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern major general.)

I comprehend contemporary culture North American.
I straighten more piratical erections than Bo Derek and,
I'm in to EST and all the rest, I've undergone analysis,
I've jumped beyond the gravitude to permanent paralysis.
My muse is into music, but my credit I'll not trouble you,
From R&B to S&M, cross over C&W,
To groovin' with the Doobies in my Malibu white-souling tones.
Man, I'm older than the Beatles, but I'm younger than the Rolling Stones.
(He's older than the Beatles, but younger than the Rolling Stones.)

My military knowledge for I'm plucky and adventury.
Embraces M*A*S*H and Star Wars and the 22nd century.
In short in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major general.
(In short in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern major general.)

Addendum to "Do you know which way is up?"

2007-02-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

In an earlier post that I published recently, I suggested that if you were lying on the ground with your head pointing to the east, if someone told you to look up, would you look straight ahead toward the ceiling or toward the east? I suggested that you look toward the east to be correct, but I also have another concept about this to suggest.

Let's say that you stand up after testing the previous suggestion. If you again look toward your eyebrows, then east would be up toward the sky, west would be down into the earth, and north and south would be blended into one another as all of the space around us. So technically, north and south AND east would be blurred together in the horizon.

This idea suggests that the idea of "west" is virtually impossible, unless you use the term to keep you grounded. For example, if you decided to turn in cartwheels, if your head is considered up in comparison to your feet, you would need to be grounded for only one-fourth of the time it takes to complete the cartwheel.

This could be an intelligent, fun and logical argument for children to use with their parents who want to ground them for their behaviour.

Relationship between money and choice

2007-02-17T13:51:00.000-08:00

In my current surroundings, Money = Choices.
Lack of Money = Responsible Choices + Education
Lack of Money + Money = More Responsible Choices + Education
More Responsible Choices + Education = Better Judgment

Amused

2007-02-10T20:01:00.000-08:00

The media and my current surroundings are fake, even if I have contributed to them in some way. I would like to state, however, that I would love the opportunity to rebuild this place into something very real and very fantastic. This once beautiful and glorious world has been cheapened by force, and I cannot think of anything here that impresses me.

Do you know which way is up?

2007-02-07T22:15:00.000-08:00

Let's say you lay down on the floor on your back with your head toward the east. If someone told you to look up, would you choose to look directly at the ceiling ahead of you, or would you tilt your head back by raising your chin and leaving your head on the floor, and look toward the east by looking toward your eyebrows? I would look toward the east.

Some colors > others

2007-02-04T01:00:00.000-08:00

Depending on the purpose, Orange, Green, and Purple can be greater colors than Red, Yellow, and Blue. For the sake of this post, I will treat these three colors as greater and explain why. Yes, I realize that if you draw and color-in a circle with a Yellow crayon and then color over that same circle with a Blue crayon, you will undoubtedly end up with the color of Green. But that means that it takes two different crayons to create that third color. Therefore, 1+1=3. However, because there are two 1's it suggests that the 1's are the exact same and equal, when in actuality the 1's in 1+1 are two completely different colors and in no way related and no way equal other than they belong to the family of colors, because Red and Yellow, and Blue are Prime Colors (Primary).

If I had to select two crayons, I might select two of the colors out of Orange, Green, and Purple. The reason being that each alone is comprised of three different colors. Orange, for example, can be Orange, or you can break it down into Red and Yellow. Therefore, 1/anything = 2

What is interesting to me is that if you select two out of these three colors (Orange, Green, and Purple) you would yield five out of six different colors. For example, if you selected Orange and Green, you would have Orange, Red, and Yellow and Green, Blue, and Yellow.

But what is even more fascinating is that using the same example listed in the previous paragreaph, with Orange and Green, you can actually create all six colors. The first five colors would come from the breakdown of Orange and Green as listed in the previous paragraph. The sixth color (Purple in this case) comes from assessing those five colors listed above. You will find that you can create Purple from the breakdown of Orange and Green, by combining Red and Blue.

How I'd like to be remembered

2007-02-01T13:33:00.000-08:00

This post may sound morbid but is not intended to be. At several points in my life I was taught about poise, professionalism, appearances, etc. You could call it "training to project a certain image." In fact, you can see this "image" often on television personalities, celebrities, and marketing/public relations professionals. I know you know the image of which I'm speaking.

During this "training," one of the questions we had to answer was "How would you like to be remembered at your funeral?" Well, this is actually a trick question in disguise. For some reason, there is a lure toward answering this question in such a way that you'd like to be thought of as, for example, a good mother, best friend, dedicated worker, a lover of whatever, etc. For some reason, people would like tons of people at their funeral, thinking the more people, the better. At one time, I would have answered that question the same way. Now I view the answer differently.

So, how would I like to be remembered at my funeral? I would like people to say that Steph deserved to die.

First if all, this holds me responsible to live my life according to whether or not I believe that death is a punishment or a reward. Either way, my life on earth will be the best life that I can lead.

Secondly, this way of thinking tests others' view of my death as my punishment or my reward. If others view my death as my punishment (or even as my reward), then let them be held responsible for their view.

Incomplete

2007-01-24T08:11:00.000-08:00

I created this one today primary to add a splash of color to the walls. I am not finished with it and it is too boring for me. My thinking is that what I have currently painted will serve as the background to something a bit more detailed. Whenever I purchase more white paint to mix, I'll show you the completed work.

Another painting

2007-01-23T14:26:00.000-08:00

Painted this one last night. Inspired by a greeting card, as with the last. The greeting card company is called Papyrus. Nothing spectacular, but it is fun for me. Thought I would share part of my wishes with you.

Art enthusiasts need to lighten up

2007-01-23T11:10:00.000-08:00

If art enthusiasts let go of their tight egos they would discover they possess a greater type of ego capable of opening up their minds, creativity and happiness underneath.

I recently attended a lecture on Caravaggio at the Nelsen Atkins Museum of Art. Anyway, the lecture was scheduled at such a time that I could attend that and then visit the Young Friends of the Arts Second Fridays event held at the museum afterwards. It would be a complete understatement to admit that I've been going through a lengthy period of reevaluation, but I applied a bit of what I taught myself to these two events. Instead of dressing in an expensive sleek, black number, I instead went bold (even in my own standards) and mixed multiple layers, patterns, and colors in an ensemble that was sure to get whispers of arrogant ignorance.

I pulled into the parking garage, looked down at my attire, felt fortunate that it was cool outside so that I could reveal my outfit at my own convenience with the removal of my near floor-length coat-- and I--I chickened out! A pickup truck drove by at that exact moment with a No Fear sticker in the window, and apparantly that was all the boost I needed to walk in, because I attended the events alone.

I interestingly found myself not drawn to the topic so much but rather to the presentation of the material. Having a somewhat dry delivery myself, I can appreciate the sounds of amusment to the speaker's wit. As I listened to the material, I took notes of what I saw around me.

Enthusiasts dressed nicely, mostly in dark colors like black, and I could tell that they probably spent a pretty benjamin on their attire. But how--BORING. What I'm trying to say is that the event was at a museum, full of expression, full of opinion, full of everything but boring. What I don't understand is if these enthusiasts enjoy art as much as they say they do, is it because they feel that they themselves are constricted in speech and originality on a normal basis? Do they long to free themselves by making opinions to the world no matter how many feathers they ruffle because they live in a world where unoriginal people shun originality? It seems to me that certain types of people are allowed to be original, like artists and rock stars, but they are also unfairly, and WRONGLY I might add, looked down upon when in fact, their ability to show their originality demonstrates the STRENGTH that most people lack.

When it comes down to becoming original, you should look for things you like and admire, but you should also pay attention to what you dislike and why. You can copy what you like and then make your own ammendments as you go. This is your own testing period until you start to see a pattern that you like. That pattern starts to become your style and is unique to you.

My hunch is that at home, most people already know what they like. The difficult part is showing that side of themselves in public where the unoriginal people can be very cruel. There are ways to combat this, too.

In applying this information with the Nelson Atkins Museum, I suggest that the Young Friends of the Arts create their own unique niche in the social scene by suggesting that participants come to their events with a splash of originality, or even a whole ensemble dripping of personal voice. Not only would this be personally freeing, but it would also give others deeply insightful talking points. Afterall, the museum IS a place of expression. If you can't express yourself there, then where can you?

And she paints, too

2007-01-20T16:24:00.000-08:00

I haven't yet named this one, though I began painting it initially to teach myself how to blend colors in acrylic with nothing but the paint. Found a photo I liked, possibly taken by a famous photographer and I superapologize for forgetting that person's name. Midway, I lost the photo (which was on a greeting card), so I had to improvise, hence the blooms within the bloom.

Time to reinvent the wheel of non-tedious jobs

2007-01-19T14:48:00.000-08:00

Disappointingly enough, at this point in United States history, the more boring a job or political topic is, the more important they are. Everything boring is deception. All jobs and topics can be made fun and interesting, and some jobs and topics are purposefully made boring, like taxes and contracts, to distract too many people from paying too close attention. This is exactly why Americans seemingly do not care about some of the important things that ultimately do matter. Yes, family matters, but so does your job. Your job matters more than you think. More than money, even. Everyone wants and NEEDS to enjoy how they spend 1/3 of their adult lives. Jobs do not and should not be created to be extremely tedious. I once WATCHED someone sit at a computer hitting the zero key and the enter key for four hours straight over five days in one week. I'm going to watch the second hand on a clock right now as I determine the number of times she must have hit the zero key and the enter key in 10 seconds. Heck, I'll even type it here:
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
That's nearly 50 in 10 seconds.
Or 300 in one minute.
Or 18,000 in one hour.
Or 72,000 in a four-hour shift.
Or 360,000 in one week's worth of four-hour shifts.

Whoever gave this poor woman this job should be imprisoned for torturing this woman with a job that they themselves would never do.

Solution? Because I am a Problem-Fixer in addition to a mere Problem-Solver, I would not eliminate the column of zeros altogether, because I have learned that oftentimes what is not being said is just as important to know as what is being said. Instead, I would make each person responsible for filling out the row of information responsible for typing in the zero, or (smart idea, Mr. Idiot Boss!), I would teach my employees how to correctly use Excel so that the zero, surprise surprise, AUTOMATICALLY appears!

Now, if the company is creating these types of useless positions just to help people make a minimum wage paycheck, I applaude the generosity, but there is an even better way. I suggest that the positions of the whole entire company be restructured to create positions where EVERYONE has multiple roles at various levels in the company (obviously each role would be distributed differently depending on the hierarchy of the company), including typing in their own zeros. As you can see, with the time it took to type in 360,000 zeros -- one week -- that time would instead be redistributed to everyone, including the new employee aka initial zero-typer, so that the zero-typer can someday move past that crappy position and not have to be forced to live uncomfortably off of the government AND YOUR TAX DOLLARS. Because afterall, give me the name of a company who would value the job Zero-Typer on a resume? At an interview, IF the zero-typer got one for heaven's sake, if asked what other activities zero-typer did at her position--what does zero-typer say? Should she say that she also hit the enter key, too? When asked, "What did you like about your position as zero-typer," should she say, "I enjoyed it because I could press the zero and enter keys with two different fingers on my right hand and take a drink out of my QT cup with my left hand?" That's what I would say! These people deserve respect, too, and perhaps more respect than the boss who gave them that position. It is of my opinion that a boss who is doing this type of thing deep down sincerely wants to help but hasn't been prepared or taught how to help. What comes off as a gesture of generosity most times ends up being thought of as a "charity case" because the Zero-Typer is absolutely miserable zero-typing, and the Boss begins seeing his idea of helping this person not being appreciated (even though he wasn't taught how to help in the best way).

Unfortunately, I have witnessed more zero-typers, and disappointed good-hearted bosses for that matter, too many times in my 29 years and I'd like to fix this problem. Happy to say it--Time to Reinvent The Wheel. The old wheel's flat, losing traction, had so many patches that it is tough to find the original tire, and on top of that it is missing a hubcap (which is probably being used by the zero-typer as a bucket to collect donations on the plaza).

Too much History Channel

2007-01-15T19:01:00.000-08:00

They could find Atlantis if they created more above sea-level icebergs to decrease the depth of the ocean floor.

Civilized hieroglyphics

2006-10-16T18:43:00.000-07:00

I eagerly visited the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art last weekend to take a new look at the treasury with hopes that this time it might awaken some new interpretations. I typically find that practical and functional art pieces are my favorites. I didn't make my way all the way through the museum, but I spent a good amount of time in front of the Egyptian hieroglyphics; I determined that the hieroglyphics are more civilized than the written or spoken word. The written or spoken word, no matter how descriptive, has a way of being taken out of context so easily that it is alarming. A phrase, comment or word can be easily slanted to mean something in which it wasn't originally intended. And this is the same with photos and video. Sometimes, despite the truth being directly in your face and in plain English can be misinterpretted based on previous notions that were slanted in the beginning. This is how things can become something out of nothing. Hieroglyphics and other pictures can be interpretted regardless of language and are therefore more universal than mathematics, which in itself is a language to be learned. It has long been my determination that that which seems to be more civilized is in fact less civilized than previous generations before us. With the exception of slavery.

Black and white

2006-10-02T19:09:00.000-07:00

Still working on this idea and will provide more information and facts to support my reasoning in the future. Several years ago I was led into a discussion about black and white. My take on it initially was that there are many shades of gray in between the two, meaning that what may be good/right for some may not be good/right for all. One side may be more good/right than the other. This way of thinking assumes that both the black and the white are percentages that add together to create 100% and that most times the majority wins, like in an election. However this way of thinking about black and white creates good/winners and bad/losers rather than acknowledging the fact that it is in human nature for people to act good/right. If both sides (black and white) had all of the correct and untwisted information, they would choose to be good/right in the purest sense of the word.
How can you determine if something is black OR white? Perhaps it is 100% black AND 100% white at the same time with both black and white doing what is good/right, in the purest sense of the word. The only condition is that everyone must be a winner to create harmony.

My childhood dream

2006-09-07T06:41:00.000-07:00

I got into an email conversation with a fellow overachiever and good friend whom I've known since middle school. She reminded me of several of our old topics of discussion. For example, when all the teachers and other students would ask us what we wanted to be when we grew up, our normal jovial response was "The coolest people in the WORLD!" I don't remember saying this, but knowing my mentality in middle school, that phrase awfully does sound reminiscent of something I would have proclaimed. But somewhere between my pre-teen years and current life I have lost sight of my childhood dream. What I failed to do is to set some goals to achieving this status. Perhaps it is time to get back on track. I guess I could take the easy route to obtaining coolness and focus my energies on creating a new ice-cube shape, which would force me to work in cool conditions, but that would be incredibly opposite of cool, quite stupid and not nearly challenging enough. Ant suggestions on what it would take to become universally cool? Gosh this post sounds so juvenile but I must admit I get a kick out of it.

War on obesity

2006-08-23T12:19:00.000-07:00

We, the bellies of the United States of America, need to combat our population's obesity. I propose that we invent a small, taste-rewarding food that expands twice its size in our stomaches when consumed before water (the reactor). The size expansion could be attributed to the creation of air pockets, like bread when it rises, or of a product that reacts similar to helium inflating a balloon, or of something similar to a toy miniature grow creature. Not sure what the end-result (no pun intended) would be with all of that air floating around, but we need to jump on this.

Invention

2006-08-09T12:23:00.000-07:00

Written here is an Alan Kay quotation that has been resting on my mind for the past several half-hours. "The best way to predict the future is to invent it." Perhaps I'll come up with my own twist on this idea later--but that depends on whether or not I choose to ponder life or live life this grand evening.

Pirates treasure chests

2006-07-23T12:25:00.000-07:00

Aye, I recently saw a Pirates of the Caribbean lovin' friend of yore who took this hysterical photo of herself at the Sandbar in Lawrence. We were celebrating the final days of bachelorettehood for a dear friend whom at many times throughout the evening contagiously stole the gazes of mates and their lassies with her fun-loving spirit. She's my Oprah-friend as I like to call her. She physically doesn't resemble Oprah, but I am so often amazed at how magnetic, full of light, and openminded she is. When I see her, I see Oprah and when I see Oprah, I see her. Its an inward-thing that projects outward. Her sensitivity toward others' differences is mature beyond most, perhaps only matched by Oprah, and me of course :) Oh, and by others whom I can't wait to meet. She's a great and beautiful person both inside and out. Very much like a sister. She's the kind of friend who everyone would want as a friend if they only knew. Just like the Vietnamese restaurant in Westport named Sung Son, her friendship is the best-kept secret in Kansas City. Which leads me to this:

I was prepared to have an absolute blast at the Sandbar dancing the night away with my friend. But something came over me in the biggest-most-heartfelt way when I saw her jump up on the windowsill to give her best-rocked out version to every Journey-esque song that played on the jukebox at the beginning of the night. Tears gushed down my face. Not sure why really. Perhaps it was because I know she deserves the happiness of true love. Perhaps it was because I treasure just knowing her and being able to claim all the memories we've shared together. What I do know is that it wasn't a cry of sadness or loss, but more of a rejoicing in my friend's good fortune and my good fortune for ever having met her. I would have loved to have spent more time with her over the past year during her engagement if I could have.

The trouble was, however, that I could not contain this overwhelming feeling for more than five minutes at a time. I was in and out of the mermaids' room most of the night, trying desperately to re-apply my makeup each time so that I could emerge as a dancing wild-woman with her. But I never quite made it. The last thing I wanted my friend to see was me bawling like I was for her happiness and then having to explain what I was feeling when I couldn't even put it into words, and I'm almost positive she would have mistaken the teary-eyed cringed look on my face as something other than what it was. So instead, I stayed in a little nook directly between the mermaid's room and the bar. I can't tell you how many drinks I ordered from the bartender with tears actively streaming down my face. There is a line in Vanilla Sky that goes, "I think she's the saddest girl ever to hold a martini." Well, I definitely topped that one for I was the weepiest girl ever to consume three or four bahama mamas and there is nothing sad about about that drink except perhaps the calories and the carbs.

Napping

2006-07-18T16:21:00.000-07:00

Illegally napping off of the sanctioned trail in forbidden tufts of wild grasses born free as they sway with life's sweet aroma to an invisibly shapeless and comforting breath leisurely caressing my face only a debatably naive skip from the barren base of the actively smoldering Mount St. Helen's that feigns shadowlessness so monstrously magnificent.

KC from an outsider's view

2006-07-16T20:39:00.000-07:00

My roommate, a recent KC transplant who wishes to go by the name JR, and I spent most of the weekend decorating our charming apartment, designing and sewing new dresses and drinking wine we purchased last weekend from Yakima Valley in WA. While JR searched for sewing needles, she stumbled across a 2005 poem she wrote about KC. Directly after her discovery, she rose to her feet, took a thoughtful sip of her pinot noir, and read from her pink-papered, handwritten poem as if she were presenting her thoughts to Mayor Barnes with candid authority.

I chuckled loudly at her poetic commentary. I have never heard anyone describe KC the way she had verbalized. Everyone here, including me, has great pride in our hometown, but it was interesting to hear an outsider's point of view. While I still laugh at the humor of her poem, there are many key points that she hits that are actually quite honest and true. For your enjoyment, or for your displeasure, here are the verses of my roommate:

"Kansas City. Full of Pride. Full of Anger built inside. Full of mafia. Full of jerks. Full of Users, Abusers and the Works.

Full of Offices of Corporates who don't care. Full of People who's lives are going nowhere.

Full of Nothing, Full of It, Full of People who don't get it.

Full of homebodies without a life. Full of People who argue and fight. Full of rejects. Full of stoners. Full of persons who are loners.

But I still live here, why? To hang in there for who? To be paid nothing for what? To be dating nobodies and I could move and be dating somebodies. To be honest with myself and move I should. To be mad at myself and stay I won't. To be rolled around in this place of mud and grime is dumb.

Why should I stay and not get away? Who and why are my friends out here? Are they here to use me and do what they will? Are they just needy?

Everyone here is more depressed than I have ever seen. They sit here and wallow about their long days and then they do nothing to change their ways. What exactly does Kansas City have to offer? It rots in the middle of earth for a reason. Nobody likes it and nobody leaves it. A population of unhappy people with nothing to fight for. They are boring and sad and eat all the time. I am bored and mad and sick of these people. They are very standoffish and rude and have nothing to say. Maybe they don't care and like it that way. Kansas City."

Back

2006-07-11T16:50:00.000-07:00

Travels to Portland, Mount St. Helen's, and Table Rock Lake in MO have been stealing my time away from blogging, but I'm back. And, it's been an amazing week...

Pea-sized, pea-brained idea

2006-06-28T19:04:00.000-07:00

My friend and I were looking online for used furniture that we could restore to our liking. Most pieces were pricey, even on ebay, but we continued our search. And then we found it, or so it seemed. $23 for a whole bedroom set at Hobby Lobby? The photos looked great but what was the catch? Little did we know that the photo was true to size and that it was miniature furniture for a doll house. Must search on, must search on.

Salads and tea

2006-06-15T19:40:00.000-07:00

I went to Hen House's salad bar with a coworker the other day during lunch hour. My coworker laughed at me because I grabbed the large plastic container, but, I only put a couple pieces of lettuce in it. So I confessed. I don't like eating lettuce in my salads.

Salads and lettuce are virtually synonymous, so I feel obligated to add a couple of pieces of lettuce to my salads even though I don't eat it. Now, crispy lettuce on a cheeseburger is different; it adds a little tasteless crrrunch to the bite. I suppose it adds a crunch to the salad as well, but why eat that when you can eat the cheese, black olives, raisins, and so on? Okay, maybe if you are carb-conscious, but even then, when I order lettuce wraps at Houlihans or PF Chang's I guarantee that 30 minutes later my stomach will begin to growl. And the cheapest way to fill up that tummy after eating a $9 plate of lettuce is by filling it either with free water or free refills of pop.

This brings me to another thought--I love tea. I love it. But sometimes, I don't know, it tastes sooooo...watered down. That's the best, and most ridiculous, way to describe it which is why I'm describing it that way. But boy, oh boy, I cannot wait to drink my watery tea tomorrow morning.

Dual-purpose products

2006-06-13T19:59:00.001-07:00

It amazes me that certain products can have dual purposes. Take Clorox Toilet Bowl Cleaner for example. Yes, it can make a bowl shine, but were you aware that it can also rid white linen skirts of pesky blueberry stains?

Don't ask me why, but while drinking a blueberry shake at my desk, I opened my mouth--wide enough for blueberry shake (mixed with saliva) to drip onto my white skirt. Annoyed with myself, I walked into the bathroom to attempt to dab it with water, knowing that it would be a hopeless cause. But, once there, I miraculously bumped into a coworker who had an absolutely brilliant idea to dilute the toilet cleaner with H2O to dab onto my skirt. Without a doubt, I knew it was my only hope to save my new white skirt. And it worked perfectly. The only downside was that I had to walk around the rest of the afternoon smelling like toilet bleach.

The big idea

2006-06-11T00:47:00.000-07:00

I am extremely interested in entrepreneurship. There are so many things about it that make it appealing to me. I've had so many ideas over the years, but I must admit that I am pretty sure that I came up with the money-maker of all money-makers today. I'll definitely post more about it in the coming days--just make sure you don't steal my idea!

Daily forecast music

2006-06-09T22:33:00.000-07:00

I attended the Corporate Woods jazz festival this beautiful evening with some friends. I'm telling you, it was a truly gorgeous evening to be outside with thousands of other Kansas Citians. I adore going to large community events where people have a good time, particularly when the proceeds go to a good cause--it's a win-win situation.

I expect to get somewhat razzed for this, but one of my friends made the comment that he didn't have cable television at home, and that the jazz music to which we were listening was like flipping through cable and landing on The Weather Channel. And it was, but without a verbal daily forecast for the region.

I tried to appreciate the jazz--truly tried--but it is just not my thing. A tiny part of me feels like I should like jazz, being from Kansas City...I do appreciate the time and effort and love that the jazz musicians have for their music and I respect the listeners who have an ear for the stuff...but I just can't get into it. You can't expect me to like jazz music just because KC has a history of it. I do like the idea that jazz can bring Kansas Citians together, like it did at the festival, but I must admit that I was a bit disappointed when I figured out that Don Harman was not in anyway affiliated. Perhaps next year.

The braided pretzel

2006-06-07T17:50:00.000-07:00

While eating some miniature pretzels this afternoon, I couldn't help but think how life sometimes resembles a pretzel, whether it is shaped like a stick or like the photo to the right. But, I pondered, is there anything more twisted than the photo to the right? And then it came to me--a braided pretzel. I'll point out some characteristics of each shape and let you create the meanings of each for yourself.

A pretzel shaped like a stick has a distinct beginning and end, though it can be difficult to determine which is which.

A pretzel shaped like the photo to the right has multiple paths with a couple of distinct ends. However, it you nibble off the protruding ends, it becomes an endless shape of turns, kind of like the symbol for infinity only much more complicated.

And then there is my concept of the braided pretzel. A shape where everything is so intertwined that each part of the braid continues along the same path, even through all of the twists and turns. Once it seems like you've found the end, you actually end right back up at the beginning.

After making up my own mind about the pretzel, I then decided to do some legitmate research about the history of the pretzel, finding that there are many claims of origin, but many historians consider them apocryphal. What I found interesting is that the pretzel is often considered a religious symbol for Lent, which is the 40 days leading up to Easter. Apparantly in the old Roman Empire circa 4th century, fasting christians shaped their breads to resemble arms crossed in prayer, using the Latin term bracellae, meaning "little arms." From that, the word bretzel was used and then it turned into the word pretzel.

I would be interested in learning my readers thoughts as to what I mean by the different shapes of pretzels and how they pertain to life.

Rolling roof proposal

2006-06-06T16:24:00.000-07:00

No, this post isn't about the stadiums.

The weather has been absolutely gorgeous this spring, leading me to create a proposal that has to do with my everyday life. I propose that my company create a retractable roof for those beautiful sunshiny days like today for those of us who sit in a cubicle without a window. The new convertible office would be the ornament on top of the icing on top of the cake that my company already is.

Balancing nonprofit work

2006-06-05T15:55:00.000-07:00

I've spent a good portion of my 20s receiving free things, such as concert tickets, delicious dinners and front-row seats at sporting events. But to tell you the truth, I am now much more interested in purchasing these types of items for my friends and myself on my own. Receiving free stuff isn't as appealing as it used to be. I'm almost positive that the appeal came from the idea that the people who didn't need to receive free items were the ones most likely to receive free items. But, my favorite memories of receiving those free items was when I was able to pass them on to others and to see the joy, gratitude and surprise that the gifts brought them in being able to experience something that was otherwise unobtainable.

If ever again I'm in the position to receive free items, I want nothing more than to be able to pass many of them on or, rather, be there to share in the receivers' joyful experience. I find it true that the more you give, the more you want to give, so much so that I have found myself at several times in my career devoting more time to nonprofit work than making money for myself. And to a fault, if you can find fault in that. Now I'm trying to balance that out, because I figure, if I made more money doing something that I absolutely love to do, then I can devote that money as well as myself to the organizations or individuals that fit in with my interests.

The lost whole numbers

2006-06-02T21:00:00.000-07:00

I've got another Post It to post. This one is a bit more cerebral than the last. What I want to know is, who determined that the world number system would be based using the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10? Yes, it seems to work just fine. I mean, look at all the theories that have been proved in all areas of mathematics and applied to everyday life and art.

But, think of all the NEW theories you could come up with if you started from the beginning and assumed that the current series of numbers between 1 and 10 were actually missing whole numbers (see Post It). You could surely argue exactly how many whole numbers are missing between 1 and 10, but I chose to represent only two new whole numbers for the sake of argument. Please note I wrote "whole numbers" and not "invisible numbers."

The same rules would apply after 10, such as 11, 12, 13, 14 and so on, but would include the two new numbers in every set of 10.

Unfortunately, you can't create these new theories with a current calculator or computer. Perhaps this is where I come in and partner with a scientific calulator company and work with them in developing (revolutioning) the way we view numbers in mathematics.

I will probably add more to this post as I think of things.

Instant Messenger

2006-06-02T06:49:00.000-07:00

The problem with instant messager at work is that despite how loud my headphones are, I still can't tune out my coworkers.

Good day for 3M

2006-05-31T16:35:00.000-07:00

A couple of my Post Its made quite a stir among my work friends today. "What the heck do they mean?" they inquired, yet not as cursefree. So now I suppose I'll tell them while I look forward to them making fun of me on Thursday morning.

I came up with a new product for 3M. Another Post It product.

As I was putting together a large, thick, sealed envelope to be mailed through FedEx, I grabbed a large paperclip to attach the FedEx directions to the envelope. But the envelope was too thick. Not wanting to damage the envelope with tape, I quickly grabbed a Post It, ripped off the sticky part, and used it as tape.

Now, I suppose I could have used a large binder clip, but that would have required that I open my drawer to remove one.

If you have seen the movie Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, you would have a great appreciation for my discovery.

The search for truth

2006-05-30T18:59:00.000-07:00

I sat down for a drink with a friend this evening. Our bartender, a philosopher who I'll name Mark #72, explained how he was fascinated by ancient philosophers like Plato and Plato's students. Mark #72 said that his own philosophy was "to maintain permanent disbelief," a cynical philosophy that would keep him from being labelled a fanatic, because he's not a fanatic. I am not a fanatic either, but instead of taking his philosophy, I'll twist mine a bit and write that I more closely identify with "maintaining a constant state of searching for truth until I find it." And if I'm not mistaken (I'm not), nearly every great writer that college students study in their required Western Civilization courses was on his/her own search for the very same thing.

2006-05-29T12:01:00.000-07:00

ill luck

2006-05-29T11:42:00.000-07:00

"Just as it in error to assume that bodily symptoms as basic as a stomach ache are not a serious health issue, so it is to dismiss one's extensive series of extremely unfortunate events as being of ill luck." --Steph (Yes, that would be me.)

Lyrics that resonate

2006-05-23T11:40:00.000-07:00

"And being apart wasn't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of rediscovering you...
I'm forever yours -- faithfully." -- lyrics from Faithfully by Journey

Fireworks

2006-05-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

I recently experienced the best fireworks display, perhaps the best to date, one that was synchronized to music. And as amazing and beautiful as the bright fireworks were in the foreground, I couldn't take my eyes off of the raging, rolling clouds of smoke that hid behind them. It was almost as if the gorgeous and entertaining fireworks display masked something much, much darker. At least 40,000 people watched the same event, but how many of them made the effort to look deeper, to look beyond what the fireworks coordinator wanted them to see?

Time and space conundrum

2006-05-10T11:36:00.000-07:00

I often sense that the present and future are the past, that the world should be more advanced than where we are currently and than where we are heading. I look at brand new models of objects and technology, such as automobiles and computers, and my instincts and imagination instantly inform me that they are outdated prior to their release. Even prior to their origination. By centuries. I glance around at the environment, all of our environments that we inhabit day to day, and it is almost as if I'm viewing a crinkled black and white moving picture on a reel from a time when the world was innocently ignorant to the reality that stands before them in many dimensions. The type of reality that every single being currently experiences, but has yet to understand. They often dismiss what they assume to be overly simplistic communication through the senses as meaningless. A mind must be opened before the trained eye and ear can decipher the many dimensions of reality. The easiest way to solve the task is by focusing attention on a single dimension with the knowledge that all the dimensions are parallel to one another yet intersect at the same time, all with positive outcomes. Perhaps the mundane tasks in daily life are deliberately switched on to auto-repeat only until the truth sweeps through their ravenous hearts, transforming their hope and faith to certainty.

Leftovers

2006-04-21T11:33:00.000-07:00

I went out to lunch with my coworkers, a group that we like to call the (company) Marching Band. Why that name stuck, I don't remember, but we make jokes about Marching Band practices ALL the time and its still funny. Anyway, we were all at lunch and one of them asked me why I hadn't finished my food. "Do you realize how many hungry people in the world would love to have those leftovers?" And I responded, "Of course! I'm sure the whole cast of Survivor would LOVE to eat them."

Candy cigs

2006-04-11T11:31:00.000-07:00

I could use a chalky candy cigarette about now.

McDonald's song

2006-03-28T11:28:00.000-08:00

I typed the following from memory, but couldn't manage to type it all in one breath.

"Big Mac, McBLT, a Quarter-Pounder with some cheese.
Filet O-Fish, a hamburger, a cheeseburger, a Happy Meal,
McDonald's tasty golden French Fries, regular and large in size
And salads, chef or garden or a chicken salad, oriental
Big, Big Breakfast, Egg McMuffin, Hot, Hot Cakes and Sausage,
Maybe biscuits, bacon, egg and cheese and sausage, danish, hashbrowns, too
And for dessert, hot apple pies and sundaes, three varieties
A soft-serve cone, three kinds of shakes and chocolaty-chip cookies
And to drink, a Coca-Cola, Diet Coke and orange drink, a Sprite and coffee, decaf, too and low-fat milk and orange juice.
I love McDonald's good times, great tastes.
Can I get this all at one place?"

Extraordinary

2006-03-28T11:26:00.000-08:00

I'm not your average Steph Doe.

Shipping number

2006-03-24T11:23:00.000-08:00

One afternoon in the Fall of 1987, I sat squirrelly in a plastic chair on the end of the second row in music class. Being disengaged in the song selection from the hymnal, I instead focused my attention on a tracking number that had been stamped on a cardboard shipping box across the room. I still remember that number. NWXCWH1T221606314384NB. No, I don't think that's normal. But I do wonder to this day what was actually shipped in that box. I mean, what if there was something scandalous shipped inside that box; just maybe that box has an interesting story behind it. You never know.

Rain stick

2006-03-24T11:21:00.000-08:00

I think I have yet to hear music implementing the usage of an Chilean rain stick.

Monster ballads

2006-03-23T11:19:00.000-08:00

There's nothing like listening to a monster ballad on a sunny, spring afternoon. It takes me back. My distaste for hairbands in my youth meant that I never really liked those songs back then. And, come to think of it, listening to them now really doesn't bring back many memories. Hmm. Except for maybe a school-sponsored roller-skating party or two.

Illegitimate children

2006-03-22T11:15:00.000-08:00

I wonder if I have any illegimate children running around.

Outsourcing

2006-03-21T11:10:00.000-08:00

I'm reading an extraordinary bestseller titled The World Is Flat. So now I'm comtemplating either moving to India for an American job or starting my own company in America and outsourcing the secretary/executive assistant work to India.